My Professional Journey Called Residency Training

(Again, this is a re-post from my Multiply account.)

After 3 years of residency training, thank God it's over. I'm glad my efforts have been recognized. I'm happy that my co-residents have appreciated my work as their colleague and as a leader. I'm grateful for the support my family, friends, and consultants over the years - through good and bad times.

During the first year, I was the "alipin", the "utusan". I was always on the move, the burden of heavy work was always on my shoulders. I was not surprised because all 1st year residents go through this. Heck, I was even lucky to have "weekends & holidays off" compared to others. On the other hand, I was not privileged to file for a vacation leave. When December 2008 came, I was relieved for many reasons - I was promoted to second year and our senior co-residents were graduating. Honestly, I didn't establish good rapport with them. But I didn't care and I didn't feel like it was my loss. I prayed that sana nga, makaalis na siya ng Pilipinas. I'm hopeful that the next leader will be very unlike her predecessor. Well, I was wrong.

I experienced the most "downs" in my residency during second year. It was very chaotic, confusing not only for me but for the department as well. New rules were made just for the benefit of some poeple while those in the lower years suffered, decisions were made without asking what other consultants and residents thought about it, actions that were uncalled for. A rift was created - consultants vs consultants, and residents vs residents. We all knew who sided with whom. It got to the extent that it became personal - our previously graded evaluations were re-evaluated and we all obtained lower (more often, failing) marks. Some of us thought of quitting. However, we reflected that nothing good will come from it, it will make matters worse and we just fought our points-of-view in vain. Withstanding whatever was thrown to us, we stood our ground. The issues died down eventually. On the good side, I was able to have my vacation leave. In terms of training, I felt that I've rotated in only two departments - Family Medicine and Emergency Room Medicine. I rotated at the ER for 3 months and at FM/Floors for 4 months. As early as my second year, I've already consumed all of the assigned number of months rotation (7 months for the entire training) at the Floors. I thought that that was also an act of revenge against me. I wondered how was I going to file for a vacation leave during my third year (as a department rule, we can only go on "vacation leave" as FM/Floors rotators or Community/OPD rotators). It was also during this year that I filed for my sick leave - because I was striken with the novel H1N1 virus. I was the ER rotator then. Because of countless I performed swabs on my patients, hayun! Nahawa na rin ako. I was isolated for 10 days.  

My third and final year opened my eyes on the administrative side of our department & became less on the clinical side. The paperworks, meetings, workshops. They were nerve-wracking! One of our consultants gave praises to us - she said we can be event organizers after seeing that our post-graduate course was very organised and a huge success. Yehey! Many big & important stuffs were on my shoulders while I was a chief resident - the PAFP re-accreditation, Accreditation Canada Int'l (ACI) accreditation, our post-graduate course, the dreaded research presentation, and our christmas party. Everyone was cooperative and we all had teamwork. In this final year, I had the privilege to have outside monthly rotations at UP-PGH for Psychiatry & Behavioral Medicine, Wellness, Supportive, Palliative & Hospice Care (SPHC) Medicine, and a once-a-week rotation at the Geria Clinic of General IM OPD. For some strange reason, I enjoyed my rotations there and the atmosphere of being surrounded by more doctors. Never mind that some of its facilities suck but the bulk of learning was all there.   

I was sad to depart from the department. Until now, I'm still having separation anxiety. Now, the challenge that the department throws at me is what to do with everything that I've learned and how I will put it into good use, before I earn that diplomate degree. Then I can come back to them as a consultant, a good product of their training, and be an example to those who are undergoing and will undergo residency.