Prayer Answered

I just received the best christmas gift ever... Never mind that it arrived early.

I passed the Diplomate Exams! Woot!

My batchmate and I were going nuts since yesterday about the results. I was hesitant in calling the PAFP office to learn the result. I was so scared, anxious. While I was having my usual clinic hours in the morning at a big industry, little did I know that there was a text message going around about the results of the exams. My batchmate called me over my mobile phone, she was frantic and I could barely understand what she was telling me. I was also distracted because I had a patient/employee in front of me at the same time. Keeping my professionalism, I told her I'm quite busy and I hanged up. After 30 minutes, another female colleague (junior co-resident) called me & greeted me "Congratulations!" Coincidentally at that moment, I didn't had a patient so I talked with her for a while. She told me about the text message. I was puzzled because I haven't received any other text message that morning. She said that according to the text, my batchmate and I passed! I swear I wanted to shout for joy right then and there. But I still had doubts, maybe it was a hoax. After our conversation, my inbox was flooded with messages saying "Congrats!" It was around 10am that I received a forwarded text message stating that we indeed passed the exams. The original message was sent by 1 of the national directors of the Academy and a former specialty board member. My doubts were cast aside and I felt relieved. I told the good news to my family and my boyfriend. Everyone's happy for me.

Aside from my batchmate, I also greeted 1 of my co-workers (had residency at Veterans Memorial Medical Center) for passing the exams. I'm extremely happy to share the same joy with them, relief that we won't go through the same hardships all over again.

Can't wait to wear those togas during the Annual Convention next year. And I'm psyched to add 5 initials to my name - DPAFP.

I just wish my professional fee also goes up. Haha! :p

The Damage Has Been Done

Projection Exams
December 2, 2011
1600H
UST Faculty of Medicine & Surgery Medical Informatics Lab (Formerly known as LRU)

The first part of our 2-day Oral Diplomate Exams. The exam consisted of pictures (skin rashes, microscopic anatomy, ECG, x-rays, etc.) in timed powerpoint slides. In less than 2 hours, we were done. But before I could say "Thank goodness", we still had two more tests that involved purely Family Medicine physician's skills. After 30 minutes, I could finally give a sigh of relief - well, for that day. The projection exams were satisfactory.

On a side note, I was impressed with the new facilities of LRU. Flat, bigger screens, updated operating system, keyboards and mouse. So that's where part of the tuition fee is going.


OSCE
December 3, 2011
0800H
UST Faculty of Medicine & Surgery

"This is it!"

7 stations (5 manned, 2 unmanned), nerves, butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, members of the Specialty Board going around, colleagues reading/holding books while you're not holding any. While you're in the holding area, you hear the bell countless times. And then, you hear your colleagues review many things like leopold's maneuvers, classification of body mass index, etc. Oh boy! I hated the agony of waiting.

When it was my turn, holy cow! My nerves got the best of me. I did very, very poorly. When I was finished, I cried my heart out. I wanted to think positive, be optimistic but in the back of my mind, I was already anticipating that I'm going through this again next year. I tried to smile but deep inside I was sad. I thought "Let it be done, according to Your will."

Results are going to be released 1 week after. I'm going to pray my hardest.

Preparing for the Oral Diplomate Exams

2 days to go before our Oral Diplomate Exams.

In contrast to preparing for the written exams, I'm at a loss on how to review for our Orals. Perhaps browsing through our Proceedings could be valuable but what will I read next? Bates? De Gowin? Dra. Maglonzo's book? Heck, I really don't know.

I feel like going to a war, unarmed.

So help me God.

Preparing for the Written Diplomate Exams

For the past several months, one of my batchmates and I have frequently discussed if we're going to take the Diplomate exams of the Philippine Academy of Family Physicians this year, or postpone it for next year. We've debated countless times the pros and cons of taking it this year. We usually end our discussions uncertain, anxious, no definite answer.

Last month, I received a letter from the Academy telling me that I am eligible to take the examinations. I was torn - take it this year or next year. I know my preparation is not going to be enough, and I will be relying on my stocked knowledge (if there was, or was it "stucked"). A deadline was set and my batchmate seemed eager to do it. I had no choice, I went with the flow. I was like a robot when I went to the office of the academy somewhere near Buendia, Makati City, to pay for the fees (written & oral). I told myself "Bahala na si Lord if I'm making the right decision."

Before I knew it, it was the end of September and I haven't opened any single reference book in Family Medicine. I didn't know where to start! I had two weeks to study/review but I was not determined, had no drive. My almost-daily trips to Starbucks Coffee to review (similar to what I did when I reviewed for the local licensure exams) became my sort-of security blanket. Most of the times I was drained. I watched movies, window shopped, strolled around the malls, even got my hair rebonded, and slept more hours than my usual. 

Then the dreaded day came - the day of our written exams. I surrendered everything to the Lord. With the few stuff I reviewed, I hoped & prayed that I could remember them all.  

Big Choice To Make

(This is a follow-up post to my still ongoing dilemma regarding my status as Medical Officer 1 in a nearby hospital.)

By golly! It's already April and I still don't have a word regarding my contract with the public hospital where I currently work in. I have nothing against my colleagues there, the other paramedical personnel and even the security who always greet us cheerily day in, day out. But I wonder if this is really meant for me. I swear there were mornings when I'm so lazy to go work, I feel like I'm being forced to do it as security blanket or just to keep myself busy (but actually not enjoying it).

Again and again, I continuously search for job opportunities over the internet. Thankfully, I found one yesterday. I submitted my resume by email and prayed that the employers will call me. My prayers were answered - I was invited for interview. During the interview, I realised that it was the job opportunity I was praying for a long time - in an out-patient setting, I am a Family Physician and an Occupational Physician as well. The site of the clinic is along a national road, surrounded by different companies and also various subdivisions. The rate is 60-40 professional fee (PF) rate. Fair enough, right? I also have weekends off. The clinic manager already gave me my clinic schedules. Now, my problem is how to tell this to my parents, since they think that working in a hospital is the best job for me and for me to gain experience as well. I'm going to break some people's hearts again.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into.

I've observed that I change jobs every month and this is going to be the 3rd month of doing it. Hopefully, this will be the job that will make me stay for good. Hmm.. I think I've said that before. 

Ranking as Medical Officer.. Does It Matter?

I graduated from a residency training where we didn't use the terms "medical officers" nor "medical specialist". They were only used in public hospitals.

I looked for job opportunities left & right, was not accepted, and only found/learned the hard way that being a resident-on-duty (ROD) all over again is the only option left. I swore to myself that after residency, I won't be agreeing to any 24hour duties again but it seemed that I had to break my own promise. In a way, it can be of very good use to me since I'm planning to take the diplomate exams of PAFP at the end of the year (as they say, experience is the best teacher). Though it may sound that I'm "moonlighting", I had no other choice. I applied for work at a nearby public hospital and was eagerly accepted. But the item being offered to me is just "Medical Officer 1". At first, I just agreed without knowing what that truly means. Then last week, a colleague told me that that rank is INappropriately low for me. According to her, her rank in a public hospital (where she is currently a resident) is "medical officer 3", and kapag diplomate status na, the rank goes up to "medical officer 4" (or some would say that it's already "medical specialist 1"). I thought twice.

I know I am after the training/experience but I have mixed feelings regarding the item/rank being given to me (as MO 1). I feel like I stooped down to GP level when in fact I'm already trained & a consultant/specialist in every way. Siyempre, CFP (Certified Family Physician) na ako. As of now, I haven't signed the contract yet (a blessing in disguise na rin siguro). Probably it's a sign that I should still look for something else &/or a better opportunity will come in my way. I'm afraid that if ever my consultants, co-residents hear about this, they might say bad things like I'm just bringing utmost injustice to my previous training.

Right now, I'm torn - should I stay for experience? Or should I leave? 

Does the rank/item as medical officer matter, in terms of my professional career, financial gains? Will it look good in my resume when I apply for future work?

My Professional Journey Called Residency Training

(Again, this is a re-post from my Multiply account.)

After 3 years of residency training, thank God it's over. I'm glad my efforts have been recognized. I'm happy that my co-residents have appreciated my work as their colleague and as a leader. I'm grateful for the support my family, friends, and consultants over the years - through good and bad times.

During the first year, I was the "alipin", the "utusan". I was always on the move, the burden of heavy work was always on my shoulders. I was not surprised because all 1st year residents go through this. Heck, I was even lucky to have "weekends & holidays off" compared to others. On the other hand, I was not privileged to file for a vacation leave. When December 2008 came, I was relieved for many reasons - I was promoted to second year and our senior co-residents were graduating. Honestly, I didn't establish good rapport with them. But I didn't care and I didn't feel like it was my loss. I prayed that sana nga, makaalis na siya ng Pilipinas. I'm hopeful that the next leader will be very unlike her predecessor. Well, I was wrong.

I experienced the most "downs" in my residency during second year. It was very chaotic, confusing not only for me but for the department as well. New rules were made just for the benefit of some poeple while those in the lower years suffered, decisions were made without asking what other consultants and residents thought about it, actions that were uncalled for. A rift was created - consultants vs consultants, and residents vs residents. We all knew who sided with whom. It got to the extent that it became personal - our previously graded evaluations were re-evaluated and we all obtained lower (more often, failing) marks. Some of us thought of quitting. However, we reflected that nothing good will come from it, it will make matters worse and we just fought our points-of-view in vain. Withstanding whatever was thrown to us, we stood our ground. The issues died down eventually. On the good side, I was able to have my vacation leave. In terms of training, I felt that I've rotated in only two departments - Family Medicine and Emergency Room Medicine. I rotated at the ER for 3 months and at FM/Floors for 4 months. As early as my second year, I've already consumed all of the assigned number of months rotation (7 months for the entire training) at the Floors. I thought that that was also an act of revenge against me. I wondered how was I going to file for a vacation leave during my third year (as a department rule, we can only go on "vacation leave" as FM/Floors rotators or Community/OPD rotators). It was also during this year that I filed for my sick leave - because I was striken with the novel H1N1 virus. I was the ER rotator then. Because of countless I performed swabs on my patients, hayun! Nahawa na rin ako. I was isolated for 10 days.  

My third and final year opened my eyes on the administrative side of our department & became less on the clinical side. The paperworks, meetings, workshops. They were nerve-wracking! One of our consultants gave praises to us - she said we can be event organizers after seeing that our post-graduate course was very organised and a huge success. Yehey! Many big & important stuffs were on my shoulders while I was a chief resident - the PAFP re-accreditation, Accreditation Canada Int'l (ACI) accreditation, our post-graduate course, the dreaded research presentation, and our christmas party. Everyone was cooperative and we all had teamwork. In this final year, I had the privilege to have outside monthly rotations at UP-PGH for Psychiatry & Behavioral Medicine, Wellness, Supportive, Palliative & Hospice Care (SPHC) Medicine, and a once-a-week rotation at the Geria Clinic of General IM OPD. For some strange reason, I enjoyed my rotations there and the atmosphere of being surrounded by more doctors. Never mind that some of its facilities suck but the bulk of learning was all there.   

I was sad to depart from the department. Until now, I'm still having separation anxiety. Now, the challenge that the department throws at me is what to do with everything that I've learned and how I will put it into good use, before I earn that diplomate degree. Then I can come back to them as a consultant, a good product of their training, and be an example to those who are undergoing and will undergo residency.